Professor Refined and the Stones of Life
Intro
I know last week I mentioned that I would post on the 4% Rule and show you exactly how to calculate how much you need to retire. I told you I was going to show you why 90% of the online retirement calculators are
I want to hold off on that until next week. I think it is worth mentioning this allegory first. Don’t worry the practical tactical lesson is still coming and this will give me more time to make that article great. This will also give you time to get ready for that article because once you realize the math there is no looking back. No other approach to early retirement will interest you again. So let’s get primed for what is behind the goal of early retirement.
The First Day of Class
On the first day of the semester of a new year, freshman filled a large, noisy lecture hall. They were busy talking amongst themselves about what dorms they lived in, what their roommates were like and what sports they were involved in. About then, Professor Refined entered at the front of the room and placed a
Without writing anything on the chalkboard or saying anything to his students he slowly and methodically began pulling a few items out of the unlabeled cardboard box and placing them with great care and intension on the dense black countertop. The first item that he pulled out was a quart-sized clear char. Next, he pulled out a few tennis ball-sized stones. He carefully placed these large stones into the glass jar as to not crack the jar.
The Large Stones
He pulled one more similar sized stone out of the cardboard box as he was doing this he began to catch the attention of some of the most curious students. He struggled placing that stone in the jar. In fact no matter what orientation he tried the stone would not fit. By now he had captured the attention of most of the students who’d quieted down from the conversations. He looked up at the class and he said,
“Class, is this jar full?”
A few students seeing that the last stone did not fit within the jar they quickly retorted,
“Yes. Your jar is full.”
Prof. Refined reached into his cardboard box and this time pulled out a bag of rough gravel and carefully poured the gravel into the glass jar. The gravel rolled around the large stones and filled the cavities between them.
By now the room was captivated with what he was doing and had grown quiet as students had taken their seats and began speculating what he was doing in whisper tones amongst themselves. When the gravel had filled in around the stones and reached the top rim of the jar, Prof. Refined put the bag slowly back into the box and looked back up at the class. He smiled and asked again,
“Now, is this jar full?”
Looking duped the first time the class said in relative unison,
Yes, the jar is now full.
More?
Once more, Prof. Refined reached into the unassuming cardboard box. Next, he pulled out a bag of sand and with slow precision, he gently poured the sand into the jar with the large stones and the rough gravel tapping the jar a few times against the table to allow the sand to settle into the interstices.
After the jar had been tapped down and filled to the brim it began overflowing onto the table. The wise professor scraped the top of the jar level with the edge of his open hand. He smiled at the jar as a child might smile after completing a craft project to perfection. With his eye beaming with pride, he looked up and asked the class yet again,
“Now, is this jar full?”
Feeling duped yet again the class realized that no smaller stones could be poured into the jar. Student looked around at each other nodding at each other for confidence and mutual approval until they said collectively,
“Yes, the jar was indeed full now.”
Cool and Refreshing
With a pleasant smile Prof. Refined reached again into his simple un assuming cardboard box. With baited breath the freshman students watched him convince that nothing else could fit in the jar. Slowly, a silver object rose over the top edge of the box. It was an object the freshman seemed all too familiar with, a Coors Light beer covered in Frosty condensation. Prof. Refined carefully opened the can with a refreshing pssssssshhhhhhh sound.
He raised the beer to his lips and began tilting it back as all the students gasped in disbelief that there professor was about to drink a beer in the first minutes of their first class of college. Looking up over his can of beer Prof. Refined saw the wide eyes of disbelief in hundreds of onlooking freshmen students. He smiled to himself and slowly or lowered the beer and began to fill up the jar until the sand was wet up to the rim and a meniscus of head bubbled above the rim of the jar.
The students finally exhaled after holding their breath in anticipation that there professor was about to drink on the job. Prof. Refined looks up at the class and again asks students,
“Is this jar full?”
Not wanting to be duped again the students took their time in responding but couldn’t think of anything else that can be added to the jar to possibly fill it up more. Reluctantly, the majority of the students nodded their heads in agreeance that the jar was now full.
Prof. Refined looked up at the class and said,
“Well then if this jar is full, who can tell me what this all means?
Entire class was still captivated by his careful actions at the front of the large lecture hall. One voice in the back of the class piped up and shouted,
“That there’s always room for one more beer?!”
Laughter overcame the lecture hall. Prof. Refined smiled in his jolly way until the laughter finally subsided. He said that may well be, but that wasn’t the point of my demonstration.
What Does This Mean?
Students now looked around at each other as if they were expecting someone else to answer this question for them. One student looked up from a book he had been reading in the front row and asked,
Prof. Refined, is it that… if you had started in the opposite order, adding ingredients to the jar, most of that wouldn’t fit in the jar?
Prof. Refined responded with a gentle reassuring smile,
“Precisely!”
He went on to explain that the large stones represent the most important things in your life; faith, hope, family, attitude, dreams
He said the gravel represents other less important things such as; work, girlfriends, boyfriends, school, student debt, cars, apartments, exams, sports, music.
The sand represents things which are even less important. The opinions of other students, limiting beliefs, doubts, homework, cafeteria food, cars and road trips.
“And I think you all know what the beer represents.” said the Professor.
After a long pause and no responses from the class he said simply…
“Well it represents beer.”
Order of Operations Matters
Prof. Refined went on to explain that if you put these items in your life in the proper order they all fit. But if you put these items in any other order into your life you will not have room for what is most important to you. Start in the wrong order and the most important things will be the hardest ones to fit in your life. What you do with your time, choose wisely. What you do with your money, choose wisely. What you do with your relationships, choose wisely. This will determine your success in life.
No grade you receive college, course of study you fix your path on, or job title you attain in life will determine your success more than your ability to put the stones in before the gravel and the gravel before the sand and the sand in before the beer.
Putting last things first makes your life full. Putting first things first makes your life fulfilling.
– Mr. Refined
No matter what order you put priorities in your life, your life will look full to onlookers. But there is only one order of operations that will allow you to feel complete, satisfied and fulfilled. No matter how may extracurricular, low priority items you have keeping you busy in your life, your life will feel full if you put the first things first.
Busy Doesn’t Equal Important
Too many people brag about how busy they are as if business equated to their sense of importance. How many people do you now that begin conversations with a statement of how busy they are within the first two sentences?
“Hi John how are you?”
“Oh I am good, so busy but hanging in there.”
Really what I hear in these greetings is,
“I am terrible at planning priorities and staying focused on what matters but I still want to be seen as important. Busy people are important, right?”
What I want to say is,
“Dang John, I am so sorry to hear that. Things will get better for you. Would you like some help prioritizing so you can focus on what actual matters in your life?”
If you want room for things of true meaning and value then fill your life with the fewest possible, most meaningful items you can such as faith, family, relationships and community. Define your large stones.
Whether your life is a wild success or a total ruin will flow from the priorities you focus your time and money on. Whatever you choose to water with those two resources will grow and multiply in your life. How you use these two resources will influence your trajectory much more than any degree you receive or any career title you hold. Holding as a priority what you truly value in life and executing on it with energy and persistence through your daily habits will influence your level of success unlike any other lesson in finance you stand to learn.
Keep the fire burning my friends.
Actionable Takeaways:
- Define on paper 3-4 of the largest stones in your life.
- Ensure that the majority of your time and money is invested in those stones.
- Classify the rest of the things in life that dominate your time as either gravel or sand.
- Never let the gravel or sand come before your stones in life.
This story is dedicated to Winona, a sever at St. Albans Boat House who bought me dinner one night as a hardworking and hard studying young student trying to keep myself
